The world through my eyes relayed to you through my keyboard.

Month: February, 2014

A Winter Rush


It’s no secret. I hate winter. The only time I could peek over the lip of the cup of liking it was when I was a child and it got me out of school.


Even though I missed twelve winters by relocating to Southern California in 1980, I’ve still seen some tough ones. I remember the paralyzing winter of ’77-’78. I remember it because the USA was mired in the depths of the energy crisis, and Indiana State University decided that the heat in the dorms would run only during daylight hours. So, if you wanted to sleep, you had to scramble under the covers in three layers of clothes and a haz-mat suit.


This winter has grated on my nerves like a hillbilly trying to speak Chinese. At first, I was just sad. I wasn’t looking forward to shoveling like a ditch digger, and stumbling around as if my diet consisted primarily of scotch. The series of snowstorms following the start of 2014 made me depressed. I tried to choke myself to death, but my fingers kept cramping up. Now, we’ve got another round of snow/ice coming up Sunday. Now, I’m just angry.


I hear the thoughts out there. “Move”, you’re saying. Well, this isn’t prime time TV where a shoe sales clerk can take off on a trip to Hawaii impromptu, or daytime soaps where there doesn’t seem to be any poor people. Besides, I’m as old as Moses would be if he were living today. I made my last start-over twenty years ago when I moved back here.


Well, no matter how angry, depressed, or sad I might be, the storm is coming unless God, Mother Nature, or Chuck Lofton does something about it. I’ll scrape ice, shovel snow, and stumble about. Spring is right around the corner. I hope.


Boot Winter

As most of you know, I hate winter. I hate it like a heroin addict hates soap, water, and toothpaste. Some of you may recall, however, that the one thing I DO like about winter is that women wear boots. I think I like seeing women in boots more than I like seeing them naked…. Okay, that’s a lie, but I think you get the picture.


Anyway, as I spent my afternoon banking, Laundromat-ting, and grocery shopping, I observed that the boots were out like cockroaches in the dark. There were black boots, brown boots, tan boots, green boots, and even white boots. There were boots with straps, boots with buckles, boots with straps and buckles, and boots with tie strings. There were leather boots, suede boots, and boots made of materials I didn’t recognize. There were knee high boots, ankle boots, and mid calf boots. Boots ran so rampant at the Laundromat it took all the self-control I could muster to keep from locking myself in the bathroom, and masturbating!


Okay, okay, that’s enough of that. Anyway, I had a great day. The melting snow helped, but the proliferation of winter boots took it to the house.