Jameis Winston and the Girl who would be what?

Well, well. Here we go again. Another prominent male athlete has been accused of sexual misconduct. What’s wrong with these athletes? Don’t they understand that once they achieve a level of prominence, they can no longer have sex with ANYBODY – not even their own wives.

Now Jameis Winston, the starting quarterback for the soon to be 1st ranked Florida State Seminoles, has been accused of raping a woman. He admits having sex with her, but claims it was consensual. Sure, this situation presents huge problems for Jameis, but it presents even bigger problems for two other entities – the NCAA and his parents.

It’s a problem for the NCAA because they’ve been salivating for a Florida State/Alabama matchup in the championship game for weeks. Sure, Alabama lost on 11/30, but now Florida State is #1, having spanked Florida. The fragrance of the collective NCAA orgasmic results is palpable. It’s a problem for his parents because they just might have to explain why they put an “e” in his name that’s silent.

Only questions remain. Is Jameis a pampered athlete saturated with self-entitlement, or a targeted celebrity? Is the unnamed victim truly a victim, or a starry-eyed opportunist with dollar signs for DNA? Would I prefer to continue to write about how horribly dangerous humans can be, or crack open beer and watch more exciting college football? I vote for #3.